ON BEING UNDECIDED

Confession Time Posted January 28, 2023

This won't be the first time I'm walking the stage.

In fact, I've changed my major not once, not twice... but a whopping EIGHT times in my life. Despite that, I'm still not completely sure what I'm going to do with my life. It may be for the best for me at this point, and I will explain why later in this column. For now, I invite you to come with me and bask in my glorious boulevard of broken dreams. If you happen to be going to college, well... these are the fields of study you might want to avoid:

MUSIC:

This field will drain whatever free time you have ( returning students need not apply ). It's bad enough that half of your day must be dedicated to practicing by yourself. But then you have to practice with your actual band(s) and study for those hard/semi-useless classes that require an 'A' if you want to have any hope in being accepted to a low-paying position somewhere. The average burger flipper earns more these days, but if you love music so much that it apparently doesn't matter... who am I to deter you?

By the way, I was paid a paltry $100 for all the time and effort I put into Ohio's Pride Marching Band, and that wasn't even good for one book at the campus bookstore. I should've just lit that money and my degree on fire.

STUDIO ARTS:

Prepare to carry your expensive supplies and humongous portfolio with you at all times, annihilating everything in your path. Your classes almost always go past their allotted time slot, and you may not even have a choice but to literally stay overnight to finish your work. You can't even go out and party like normal college students. But the worst part is that the degree is absolutely useless, destroying any sanity you may have left in the long run. This degree exists for those who can't do math to save their lives.

JOURNALISM:

I actually enjoyed journalism at first. It encouraged me to be very creative and dream big in anything I was assigned with. With a laminated press badge, I could go to nearly any event and really feel the pulse of the community. But most importantly, I was surrounded by a staff that was determined to do great work and create a paper we were all proud of. We went all in to make a well-balanced newspaper complete with community coverage, opinions, comics, and reviews. Unfortunately, we came nowhere close to breaking even on our first issue. So Plan B involved slapping a whole bunch of thong pictures on the front of the next issue.

BOOM. Profit.

What held true many years ago especially holds true today -- outlets that publish junk simply get more views and make more money. The internet especially demands that lots and lots of stuff be created as quickly and cheaply as possible if you hope to pay the bills. In a way, this site has been the anti-thesis of that. I've deliberately been avoiding the "whatever makes the suckers click" ethos in the name of making a smaller core of readers satisfied and inspired in the long term. The world demands profits today, but imagination and promises are the seeds that help make the world a better place.

CISCO NETWORKING:

My experience with this one was a bit stupid, really. This field is supposedly easier to get into now than it's ever been. But fifteen years ago, my professor left me for dead because I didn't know how to set up virtual machines and IP schemes right off the bat. This was Networking 101... have some mercy.

Since then, many of these colleges haven't gotten any less hungry for money. They may not be allowed to force you to take ten years worth of gender theory classes for your two-year degree ( at least not yet ), but they can implement teachers who are deeply cynical or unintelligible or otherwise underqualified for their job. Your ability to pass your classes can be completely up to chance these days. Be prepared to cut your losses, over-withdrawal your account to retake your course, and quietly weep; It will happen at least once.

And while we're on the topic of questionable business practices...

BUSINESS MANAGEMENT

I may have been able to eek out a one-year certification in this field and dabble in some marketing and administration. But as far as climbing the corporate latter... forget it. Mr. Burns said it best: "Family, religion, friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business."

If someone systematically robs other people, that is obviously grounds for jail. But companies are treated differently, and many of them know that they can get away with it. And many of them know that even when they're caught red-handed, the punishment is usually less than a slap on the wrist. If you must go into this field, please don't be that species of schmuck. I've just written a piece about those are more desirous for power than wary of it. There's no profit of gaining the world at the expense of your very soul.

STATISTICS:

Okay, this one probably shouldn't count. But I once took an online class on game theory from The University of Tokyo of all places. I even paid $50 to have it certified with a link so that my prospective employers could see my accomplishment.

It's... led to some puzzled looks.

LIBERAL ARTS:

This is what I ultimately graduated in after taking a wide variety of classes. My associates degree was a consolation prize that did absolutely nothing to stop my life from falling apart afterwards.

Then again, a bachelor's or a master's degree would not have made me feel any less betrayal, loss, and heartbreak. Nor would I have experienced much more love, prosperity, and health. All that piece of paper really does is give the holder a false sense of security, like wishing it won't rain on your birthday only for it to rain anyway. Even the seemingly random things happen for a reason, so the best thing to do -- I believe -- is to wait for what the Lord has made us for and submit ourselves to His will.

MINISTRY:

Many of my cohorts are going on to become ministers and international workers. They know what their calling is now, and I wish them well.

As for me... I still haven't found what I've been looking for, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I may not have many friends, but I seem to have a thing for meeting people where they are and addressing their needs right on the spot. I may not have a local church that I go to these days, but I seem to leave the ones that I do visit better off from a creative and technical standpoint. I may not have a dream job, but maybe that's because I'm supposed to be a trailblazer and create something the world has never seen before.

I believe the correct term for this is a "tentmaker." It is someone actively living out the call of The Great Commission and expanding the Kingdom of God ( not just living a super-balanced Christian life ). One of the biggest examples in the Bible is Apostle Paul, who used the skills to minister to everyone around him and help many other nations come to saving faith through Jesus Christ. That's what I want to do with my life. But what exactly will that unfold? I don't know.

But I have no reason to stop trusting in God after all He has carried me through.

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